Bridging the Gap (Let's Get Together and Be All Right!)
by Daryl Wor
Summary: Wanted to bring this back to y'all. Here are the SERIOUS issues between the TV version of Dark Shadows & what you guys got. It's just a disastrous manifold of stupidity considering the difference in a happily ever after wonderment w/ the loving Josette and the ever romantic Barnabas Collins. Barely any of the soap-opera's fans know what that even is. Don't want to know? Don't read!


Note: If you find this from my profile page, it's in the Dark Shadow movie area, NOT the TV show. It's for the people who are fed-up with fans going on and on since May of 2012 of how horrible they believe the movie was and how anyone who likes it or watches the film are betrayers of the Dark Shadows fandom.

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_Hope this makes you laugh! I was cracking up for hours after I wrote it. It's just hilarious that DS purists are still pissed about that this Dark Shadows movie... Really, who cares?_

BS from a TV Dark Shadows Fanfiction writer &amp; I

Yes... I expose the garbage you've all been kept from... THANK GOD!

(email) You know the biggest problem the fanboys had with the new Depp version of Dark Shadows was the humor.

Well, FUCK THEM!

(email) You have at least bridged that gap with your Ultimate. They apparently have been far more accepting of your cross over

It's a MULTI-FANDOM... *NOT* a cross-over!

(email) and obviously very humorous adaptation of the show than they were of Depp's version.

Well, FUCK THEM! They can FUCK OFF! ... ... ... If they can't just CHILL the FUCK out!

(email) That in itself is quite a feat and accomplishment. There were several points made in a recent discussion about Depps Barnabas and the new DS release. It still burns a lot of people since its release a year and a half ago.

Well they can go FUCK themselves!

*I* don't give a SHIT!

I am just so TIRED of this crap! How LONG has it been? May 2012, right? What is it NOW? How many MONTHS has it been since that DAMN movie came out?

A LOT.

And *I* was following his longing for YEARS. I was following the possibility that Johnny Depp wanted to do that damn thing since he was a kid! And I was with him all the way... all the FRICKEN WAY! NO ONE ELSE bothered to give a shit about him wanting to fulfill a life long dream like what I'VE been doing with my damn ULTIMATE.

They kept on putting it off... He wanted to keep doing it and it's just like...

GO BLOW YOURSELF!

I am SICK of this SHIT!

GET OVER IT!

(As I get up and bite my spouse in the side right now...)

It just PISSES ME OFF that, "Oh My God! I'm SO into this GODDAMN *soap opera* that I CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH someone making their own GODDAMN FAN-FICTION VERSION OF IT!"

WHO GIVES A DAMN?

"I'm just going to have a HISSY FIT and SHIT MYSELF!"

Who cares?

LOL!

hee hee hee

I go and kiss my spouse,

And yes! Since no one but the movie fans truly give a crap about Barnabas Collins' feelings, guess what happens when YOU DO?! You get a bloody HAPPY marriage and the BEST SEX of your LIFE!

So put that in your pipe and smoke it TV Dark Shadows FUNDAMENTALISTS! Live long and SUFFER!

Once you finally give that BASTARD what he WANTS you'll get a more loving marriage and all the friendships you desire in your life!

"But NO!" The practically scream as their minds reel at a fun and requited ending interpretation of Dark Shadows, "I can't deal with that! I just want to compress him into Willie Loomis' problems!"

Well, guess what? We can all be friends and STOP fucking with these issues! This SHTUPID town can be just as beautiful and spooky without all that bullshit! And what do we get in return?

THE FANTASTIC WONDERMENT OF BEING ALIVE!

As Willie says in the movie: "That's why there's punkins!"

LIVE IT UP, GIRLFRIENDS!

AND THANK YOU!

D.W.

Freedom Of Choice by Devo

_A victim of collision on the open sea_  
_Nobody ever said that life was free_  
_Sank, swam, go down with the ship_  
_But use your freedom of choice_

_I'll say it again in the land of the free_  
_Use your freedom of choice_  
_Your freedom of choice_

_In ancient rome there was a poem_  
_About a dog who found two bones_  
_He picked at one_  
_He licked the other_  
_He went in circles_  
_He dropped dead_

_Freedom of choice_  
_Is what you got_  
_Freedom of choice!_

_Then if you got it you don't want it_  
_Seems to be the rule of thumb_  
_Don't be tricked by what you see_  
_You got two ways to go_

_I'll say it again in the land of the free_  
_Use your freedom of choice_  
_Freedom of choice_

_Freedom of choice_  
_Is what you got_  
_Freedom of choice!_

_In ancient rome_  
_There was a poem_  
_About a dog_  
_Who found two bones_  
_He picked at one_  
_He licked the other_  
_He went in circles_  
_He dropped dead_

_Freedom of choice_  
_Is what you got_  
_Freedom from choice_  
_Is what you want_  
_(repeat)_

**And I don't like the new Star Trek movies... so you know what I do? I don't watch them! I don't pay attention to them and I DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM!**

So there! :P

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As for anyone wondering "What the hell is this? It turned me off from reading anything else of yours."

Yeah... ask me if I give a damn! (Answer: I don't.) LOL!

If you don't like something? Quit wasting both of our time and move the heck on!

(And the Thank You was for enjoying the DS movie and writing fan-fiction about it. Keep it up!)


End file.
